I don't usually make New Year's resolutions. I think they are silly, and that people set themselves up to fail. However, following a series of mishaps during the holidays and some serious introspection, this actually happens to be the perfect time for me to make some changes.
So here we go:
1. Sobriety. 6 weeks, possibly indefinitely. No excuses.
This one comes from the realization that I depend on alcohol for a lot of things. It has oscillated between healthy and unhealthy over time, and I just hit an unhealthy period. Also, having depression, drinking is without a doubt one of the shittiest (most widely-available) activities I can partake in, particularly if it's on the reg. So there you have it; for the first time in over six years, I have had a fully sober weekend without one single drink. I feel fucking AWESOME. I'm quite excited about this resolution.
2. Write every day for at least 15 minutes.
Whether it's blogging, writing through something happening to me in private, writing poetry, working through a political situation or personal interest through writing, whatever; I'm going to do it. It's absolutely a cathartic activity for me, and provides a way for me to work through problems without consulting everyone I know about everything (which I tend to do).
3. Give big decisions/situations/encounters some time.
I tend to be exceptionally impulsive, and impatient. I want what I want to happen now, and if it doesn't it's almost a personal offense. The handling of a recent situation allowed me to reflect a bit and prompted me to figure out what works and what doesn't when coming to these big situations:
- make a pros and cons list. Holy shit, if this doesn't provide me with some insight I really don't know what will. Simply writing these things down pushed me to understand that a huge situation in my life which I believed to be wholly positive is actually probably a bad route to take. Mull it over, give it a day, and write a pros and cons list. If you'd like to try it, be brutally honest, and you will be surprised with what this will do for you.
- Give it at least a day. It's as simple as saying, "Wow, this is an interesting situation that is important. I need the night to think it over." I've decided that it's much better than giving an answer right away that might not be in my best interest.
4. Read an interesting article every day.
Whether it's reading a blog, a political publication, whatever. Gotta be interesting, yo!
5. Lose eight pounds.
Now, this one sounds cliche and dumb, but fuck it. I've gained at least ten pounds since I've moved back to Michigan and it's disgusting to me. I hate it, and I'm ready to fix it. Plus, I have a shitload of time now that I'm not drinking. What else do sober people do than go to the gym?? And I WILL follow through with this one. Check my Facebook in two months when I have a bomb-ass body again.
6. Figure out what I want out of life, and where I want to go.
I've been putting this one on hold due to a lot of different weird situations that have arisen over time. As my roommate said when I mentioned this, according to the theory of self-actualization, I've moved to a higher mode of being in the realm of self-actualization. Now that I've taken care of most of my other needs, I'm able to sit down and think about my purpose and direction. What kind of person do I want to be? What kind of career would I like to have? What kind of person would I like to be with? Deep shit, but it needs to be handled. Oh, and PS, I know this one is ever-changing and evolving, but I need to come up with like at LEAST a five year plan and plant the seeds to make those things happen.
This one probably won't happen until the end of the year, but I need to get out of Michigan. I read somewhere that of your relationships, your job, and where you live, if you're happy with at least two of the three, you're in a good spot. I think it was those three things. Anyway, I hate my job and I hate where I live. Time for a change!
I think those are all of them. Worked on them all weekend and followed through. And therefore...
PRETTY FUCKING SUCCESSFUL WEEKEND!
I deserve to be proud of this, because I am putting in work and will reap the benefits eventually. Whatever you're doing, I hope you're happy with it and if not, you're making the changes you need. Know that I'll be right there with you.